This is a Paint brush. Yes a used,wood handle, with bristles... paint brush. As I was digging through the box of paint supplies I came across this, my most favorite paint brush. I was thinking, "Man I really need to scrub the left over paint off of this handle." All of a sudden a flood of memories came to me. Here on this splattered and over used brush held sooo many memories. Memories of the excitement of picking out colors. Memories of my anticipation of my first real paint job. Memories of staying up ridiculously late laughing our butts off trying to get a room finished. Memories of a home.
As some of you know we are losing our home. The home we worked so hard to get. The home we decorated. The home where some of our super best girls nights took place. The home where Maddie first crawled and took her first steps.
So what is a home? Is it just "materials?" Wood, nails and drywall?
"There is a magic in that little world, home; it is a mystic circle that surrounds comforts and virtues never known beyond its hallowed limits."
-Robert Southey
"Home is the one place in all this world where hearts are sure of each other. It is the place of confidence. It is the place where we tear off that mask of guarded and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self-defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts. It is the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule."
-Frederick W. Robertson
I wish that I could be okay with this. I swear I've turned into a blubbering mess of emotions these past weeks. Why can't I let go? So back to the paint brush. I was able to see a little bit of each and every color that we had painted in our home.
-Green of the powder room. The one that I painted TWICE a totally different color because I didn't like the first color. Bathrooms are a pain in the booty to paint BTW. We had to remove the tank of the toilet so I could paint back there. Try scooping the remainder of the water from the tank so we could remove it!!
-Pink Pink that I pained Maddie's room with. The room that I painted my first mural in. The mural that Twylla helped me shade as we giggled about her sister Autumn's upcoming wedding.
- Dark Brown of the accent wall in the family room. The wall the Robert refused to help me paint because he was soooo sick in tired of painting.
- Red of my kitchen. The first paint job. The one that everyone freaked out about when I said that I was painting it that color. Then oddly enough the color that everyone out here seems to have. LOL I had it first.....tee hee!!!
-Blue of Kyle's car room. The one we skipped church over to finish. YEP I did. The road that I made a template out of poster board and traced around the entire room. The road that the blasted little yellow lines took forever to paint. My first time at painting clouds which I think turned out pretty cute.
- Off white of the crown molding that we put up ourselves.
- Light Green of my craft room/office and Erica helping me to get it done.
I saw so may things in the handle of that single paint brush ruined with paint.. Good memories. Its meant so much to me. I've been so embarrassed and have really struggled, cried and stressed about this and decided that I need to get on my knees and ask for help. Why is it that it's so darn easy to forget to do such a simple thing? I have to tell you that when I finally got down on my knees (with a little reminder from some awesome people) I have a new sense of peace that I had never felt before. The feeling of comfort is unmistakable. We will be okay. We have each other which is what make a home a home.
"Where thou art - that - is Home. "
-Emily Dickinson
I have been doing a scripture reading challenge with Amy and its been such a great reminder of our blessings from Heavenly Father. I challenged her to read one of my favorite scriptures which is Proverbs 3 : 5-6
5 - Trust in the LORD with all thine heart ; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
These words are 100% true. I know that if we listen and rely on our Heavenly Father, that we will be okay. I think sometimes Heavenly Father reminds us of these things in little ordinary ways especially when we need it the most.
So new paint will be added to this paint brush and new memories will be made. I'm clearly a sentimental sap for somehow getting upset over a paint brush splattered with color. It's been so much more to me and I know this entry is REALLY long and I'm sure nobody has even made it to this point so I could probably start talking about some random thing like watching grass grow or that I love my new dusting wipes.... so I'll stop now. :P
So we decided on a home in Magma Ranch. I'm sad that I will be farther away from some of the people who mean the most to me but we're still in the ward which is AWESOME. So if you are interested in a girls night cleaning FIESTA!!! Let me know. Move date in Saturday the 9th...so get your grubbies on and lets do this!!!
That is all....whew
8 comments:
Sarah,
I am really dissapointed your not moving accross the street from me. Darn it! O well.
Yes, what you wrote reminded me of how I felt before I moved into our home. We had a very tiny appartment. The bedroom was a bed with walls around it and there was no space to walk at all. It didn't matter where you were in that appartment you were always with your husband. The office, kitchen, family room and bathroom were all together in like 300 square feet or something like that. I think it was the size of my bedroom maybe. Anyway, I remember when it came time to move I was so upset and didn't want to move into our new house. I thought it was very strange that I felt bad about leaving that crappy apartment. . But I guess it was the memories I had of fun or whatever. Let's do have a girls night. You want us to help you move, unpack? Clean? Clean what? Ok. Sorry I wrote you a freakin letter here. Sorry Tiana
sarah, i don't know what to say. you and your freakin dust wipes....glad the challenge worked, and your right you have each other so you'll always have a home. i will totally help you tape to add new memories to a new home....love ya DPH
I really hate the thought of you moving more than a house away from me. But I know that you will always be my best friend no matter where you go because that is the kind of awsome person you are. Let me know when the cleanin fiesta is and I will be there with a new paint brush for some new memories.
Girl, i just didn't need to cry today. But you summed it up - the same thing I have been telling my sweet girl who turns 13 today - she desperately doesn't want to leave the ward - but our home will be where ever we are. You know I will go anyhwere you are because you just make me laugh and i love you SOOOOOOOO much!! We will add lots more paint to your brush I promise.
I think this post is so great. I love all the pictures of your house and all the memeories, I am glad you wrote them all down. Everything that happens to us I believe is for a reason! Thanks for sharing!
That was quite a post...and I am so, so, so going to miss you so close...but you really aren't far away at all. Like I said, there are other people who need Sarah close by.
And, you know, you should find a shadow box and display your paintbrush somewhere with one of those quotes -turn it into art. And a symbol. :) Love ya.
As long as you have each other, you are always home.
I read the whole thing... :o) What a wonderful post! I LOVE the comments you found about home. It is so true. And thank you for the reminder of the importance of prayer. A good reminder that is always needed form time to time and also so true.
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